Good morning, babes! ❀
As every Sunday, this post will be a long one, so if you’re in the mood: grab a cuppa tea or coffee and your cosiest pyjama and join the conversation. Or if you’re outside in a café (or wherever) reading this: let the impressions outside and inside inspire you, let your mind wander and enjoy this little post. ❀
The past week was all about running from one office at the university to another because I had quite some trouble with my subjects, as I wanted to switch them since 2 Semesters (just make my minor my major and the other way around) and nobody really gave me the right advice for how it has to be done. So I ran quite a few kilometres due to this (there was time pressure, too) and not gonna lie, lost a few nerves here and there, too! On Friday, everything finally worked out and I have successfully changed everything so that I can now FINALLY start writing my Bachelor Thesis (applause here, please! It took me some time to get to this point! 😀 ). I will write a separate post about my journey at university and the ups and downs I have experienced, too. So if you’re interested in that, keep your eyes peeled!
This week, there was something which I’ve never experienced as intense as I do now: 1. people forgot how to properly listen to others and 2. people were freaking unfriendly!
No matter where I went, to get my form for university filled out, people first were super unfriendly, didn’t really listen to what I said and even though you get told to “act like an adult” a lot at university, I couldn’t see their respect in a way I would not only expect it as an adult, but as a human being in general. As I am a lover of harmony and positive energy, I struggled a little bit at the beginning but then reminded myself of the fact that it’s not about me as a person and more likely about their habits and maybe unhappiness in their life/job.
Not only did I experience this unfriendliness at university, but also from total strangers in town, cursing their way through people enjoying the first rays of spring sun, mistaking the environment for a wrestling arena (that elbow action though!) etc. . I went through a lot of not so nice situations the past week and suddenly remembered a conversation I had ca 1,5 years ago. A conversation with a person I deeply love and respect and always will. He’s the first one I think of, when I think of positivity, happiness and success and whereas I couldn’t identify myself with a lot he said back in the days (not because I didn’t understand, but because that was just not who I was…until then!) I now can! I smiled and thought about how I was complaining about people in my environment being negative and how he just smiled asked me “So. What does that say about you? Why does this happen to you and what brings you in such situations?”. Back in the days I got a bit upset because I didn’t understand the point here or let’s say: I didn’t see this point in MY life.
When I now look back at this conversation, I can’t help but start smiling and catch myself whispering “You were so damn right, mister!”. I reflected the situations this week and also everything about myself IN these situations: my gestures, my (maybe) mimic, the way I talked and what I exactly said. I was quite afraid of their reactions and unfriendliness even though I did nothing wrong. But how do you convince someone of your right behaviour, while standing in front of them like a lamb in front of a lion? I decided to switch the roles and go for the lion instead. I went back to those, who first rejected my request and talked to them again but with a whole different body language and mind set and… suddenly everything worked out.
I admitted when there was anything I could’ve done better (get informed a tat earlier) but at the same time made very clear that this is really important for me and that I will fight for it, without making myself small. I stayed calm and kind yet clear and I always kept my smile. What happened then was eye opening for me: People who have been unfriendly the whole week, apologised to me for being so. I got a little glimpse behind their facade and understood, that this was not about me at all. I suddenly understood, what the bespoke friend of mine was talking about 1,5 years ago and felt so enlightened, that I decided to never ever let somebody dim my light again. I noticed it more now than I did before, because I have changed. I now know myself, I know who I am and I would not allow someone to treat me with disrespect ever again.
dress: MANGO (old collection) similar here and here // shoes: H&M (last season) similar here // black velvet bomber jacket: FUTURE PAST similar here // sunglasses: I don’t even remember 😀 suggestion here
Long story short: Yes, you can choose your environment and yes, you can avoid negativity and situations like these or at least you can avoid to get drowned by the negative energy of others. Reflect on how you face somebody. Admit if there is anything you could’ve done better, life is a process of learning and we all make mistakes. At the same time envision what you want to reach, what you ask for. Stay friendly yet clear. Be aware of your posture, there is no reason to make yourself small, except when doing the downward- facing dog in yoga class! And last but not least: Don’t let their energy affect yours. In cases like the bureaucracy stuff you can of course not just jump up and go (I mean, you can but..u know). Stay friendly and remind yourself of the fact that it’s most likely not about you as a person but about their own life and the stress in their job in general. When it comes to life outside, you can choose! If these situations happen, don’t let them get to you! This is easier said than done, I know, but remind yourself of the fact that strangers don’t know you so there is no point in attacking you personally and you might most likely never see them again! Sometimes it also depends on whom you spend your time with, remember, energy is contagious! Get aware of your own energy and surround yourself with those who ride on the same flow.
What do you think about (interpersonal) energy? Did you experience situations like these before and how do you deal with it? I would love to read about it! ❀
Have a wonderful Sunday, my loves, with lots of sunshine and positive energy so that you can kick start the new week!
xx Deborah Chloé